June 30, 2005 #2

So now where he has a small bruise under his eye, he also has a knot on his eyebrow.

I think he's just so tired that it's making him clumsy. I know how he feels. He actually went to bed already tonight. At 6:00. I wanted to go to bed with him. But I will have to pick up Jeremy when he gets off work tonight (his car job) and I need to get dinner ready for JD and Carol.

I took a pamprin, and I think that's at least helping my mood a little. But it's making me drowsy.

I still feel like a terrible mother. I go on and on all the time about why I don't want to put him in childcare because ultimately he will always be my responsibility and if anything ever happens to him, whether on my watch or theirs, it's still my responsibility. And here he goes and beats himself up on my watch.

Whats a girl to do?

June 30, 2005

I'm a bad mother today...

We're learning about a little thing called nighttime seperation anxiety. And it's a really tough lesson for mom. I was up often last night. and if I wasn't up, I had a baby on me. He simply refused to sleep in his crib. And then he woke up too early in the morning.

So we were both tired. But then the dreaded.

He had two really ugly accidents right in a row. First he pulled up on a metal cabinet while I was safety proofing the room. The cabinet wasn't heavy enough to hold him and he pulled it on him which sandwiched him between the cabinet and the metal futon. He cried forever and when I could finally get a look at him there is a really nasty swollen line all accross one of his cheeks. And if that's not bad enough, not ten minutes later he falls again from a coffee table and I guess stabbed his eye with the corner of it, so now he has a swollen bruise right under his eye on the other side of his face. It looks like I beat him up.

So I guess his face hurts today. He's been horribly fussy ever since. And I'm not any better. I want to stomp my feet and scream. I'm tired, I have a sore throat, I'm having woman problems I feel like CRAP and I want to go home!

I don't even know where home is.

So in essence, life sucks right now.

June 20, 2005

I don't think we're ever leaving Houston.

We ended up not coming home over the weekend, because Jeremy has a meeting this afternoon. I think, ( who knows if this actuality) that we will be going to Dallas tomorrow. I'm getting homesick.

I recognize that we're probably going to be moving very soon, and I should get used to Nacogdoches no longer being my home. But I think what I'm homesick for is my own place. I know that most people live with there parents at some point right after college when they are trying to get on their feet. But I was really hoping not to have to do that. But it doesn't look like thats going to happen. I had a horrible day yesterday. I was so tired and extreemly emotional. This place does not suit me.

And I'm worried. We're going to run out of money really soon. Guys pray about that. I'm starting to get really nervous and it's only been a week of job hunting. I just pray that God will provide what we need in time to pay the bills.

So anyway, sorry for all the complaigning I'm doing. On a better note, (if that's what this is), I have begun studying for the test I'll take in July. Less that three weeks and I will have one test out of the way I hope. I have to pass.

Jackie, just so you know, I'm missing you terribly and thinking about you. I'm praying that you'll get through the next couple weeks and be less stressed. And Amy, I hope your baby starts to feel better. I've been trying to keep up with you guys more than you know. Hopefully we'll be home by the end of the week to see you guys.

Okay, I guess I'd better study.

"34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

June 17, 2005

Okay, I'm registered to take the TExES content exam for English, Language Arts and Reading. I have less than a month to prepare and I'm desperately looking for a grammer book. I'm not sure if I still have any of mine.

SOOO.. If anyone else happens to have one I'd love it if you'd let me borrow it. Also if anyone has any contacts with someone who has one, please let me know.

In other news, Jeremy and I are coming home for the weekend. We are packing up to leave this afternoon. But then we'll be headed to Dallas on Monday. We will be so ready for a rest when this ordeal is all said and done. Pray for rest.

Jeremy applied for a position he really wants in Fort Worth. Pray that it will work out.

Love you guys! We'll see everyone soon.

June 14, 2005

Today is Elijah's 9 month birthday!!! Three more months and we'll be celebrating a year with this blessed creature. He is crawling up on hands and knees now and is very mobil. You wouldn't believe the change that one week can be. He now has two adorable teeth and thoroughly enjoys biting things. (However he is still pretty gentle with mommys tender places). But he frequently bites my arm or hand while in the shopping cart at the store.

He is completely aquainted with swimming now. Jeremy's parents live in a neighborhood with a community pool and we've been almost every day. There is a kiddie pool there as well that is about 1 1/2 feet deep. i got him a baby float and put him in the kiddie pool and he went to town. He loves the independence.

And we're still here. I'm sure some are wandering why.. or maybe not. Jeremy is looking for jobs here in Houston currently. WE ARE FREE!!! As of Friday, June 3rd, Jeremy is no longer bound by the evil chains of Lasergraphics. However now is the part where life really gets exciting. We are looking for jobs in houston right now, and next week we will probably travel to Dallas to see whats there. (I personally prefer houston cause it's close to the beach.) But who knows where we'll end up. I do believe that God has something great in store for us in the very near future. And I'm holding on to all hope. Friends and accountability group, please pray for us fervently in this. We're going to need to find something soon.

If only we could figure out a good way to end up in Colorado...

Also, I'm registering for the Excet today. The test is on July 9th and I have one shot at passing it. Otherwise, I'll have to take a bungload of English classes. So pray for my studying and that I'll have time to do so.

I'm currently back in Jeremiah. Its funny. I just find that book so comforting in unsure times. It's so dark and bleak but yet, it's so assuring that God is still there.

So anyway, I know this is kindof a news report. But I've been without internet for a whole week and Just needed to post some good updating. I love you all and we should be back in Nac sometime around the end of this week. (we're saying Thursday morning, but who knows.) Jeremy went to a pretty successful portfolio review and he's gotten a couple of good leads, so maybe if we're lucky he'll still be needed here at the end of the week...

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.