October 23, 2005

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPIT SISTER!!! Hope it was great. I tried to call you, but you didn't answer.

Look Elijah posed for you.

And an official HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Jackie too! I love you both and hope that you've had wonderful days.

October 10, 2005

Okay, this is the best representation of my color that I could find in all those pictures that Jeremy took.. but my face isn't in it. Oh well.

October 7, 2005

Elijah got his hair cut last week. The lady insisted on gelling it. Here's my precious little punk.

October 6, 2005

I dyed my hair for the first time today. Pictures may be forthcoming.

October 4, 2005

Okay I'm going to start a new little part of my posting called "Jesus is" or "Jesus was" (referring to His time here on earth. I'm doing this simply because I'm discovering something new and wonderful everyday about the personality of this friend and I don't want to forget.

So..

Jesus was...

Completely vulnerable. He never seemed to have a guard up. He was never hiding a deep secret. He was completely vulnerable with everyone. He never bothered to make small talk. He just cut right to the heart. And He never felt the need to protect himself. Granted he was completely perfect so he didn't really have any deep dark secrets, but when you give your love so completely to another you always run the risk of rejection. Jesus never let that stop him. And I guess if I am going to learn to be like Jesus, I've got to learn to be completely vulnerable. How I would love to learn to give my love and compassion and heart to anyone who would take it. To share my faith and passion in such a way that knows no fear. How I would love to be completely honest about what God is doing in my heart and how I'm fighting it. How I want to stop this selfish shyness and meet people like Jesus did when he was here; loving them first and then allowing them to get to know Him.

I want to be like Jesus in everything and I guess this aspect of his personality cuts to the heart of what is holding me back so often. But at the same time, by knowing that Jesus was completely vulnerable while he was here, I also know that he is completely vulnerable with me as well. Our relationship knows no secrets whether I like it or not. And he has cut to the heart of so many of my relational problems. I'm so afraid of not measuring up, of being rejected, of missing out on somebody's love. I spend so much of my time asking (in not so many words) others to do and fill what only Jesus is meant to do and fill. So friends, and Jeremy, your off the hook. I love you all completely, and I'm not perfect, but I know that there is one relationship that must be cultivated to it's fullest before I can be worth anything to any of you. Ladies, hold me accountable to that.