John 14:27
Peace I leave with you. My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Words quickly fading on my arm the week of the birth.
Reminding me. Revealing me.
Don’t forget.
So I don’t live out the holy days and forget why the baby was there in the first place.
So I don’t walk away from the manger unchanged.
Peace.
For that quiet morning. Silence in the barn.
For the aftermath of the chaos.
When I’m paying off my debt.
For the aftermath of the cries
and the blood
and the struggle on the floor of the barn.
My mistakes, mismanaged life, mangled soul.
Peace
After the dysfunction, the slammed doors, the returned gifts.
After the selfish tears,
The sinful, soulless ache
The acid tongue.
The struggle on the livingroom couch
The brokenness that cannot be repaired.
Peace.
In the grief, the dysfunction, and the breaking.
Perfect peace and perfect gifts.
Good Gifts.
God Gifts.
They - We would never understand.
He said “Don’t be afraid”.
He said it was a gift.
A God gift.
Don’t be troubled with it.
Peace.
His gifts are not like ours.
Good Gifts - God gifts.
Not pretty bows and expensive bills.
Blessings and brokenness and better-ness instead.
Good Gifts.
Peace that will last.
How could we be afraid?
When we struggle, and fight, and don’t measure up.
When we are broken, bleeding, and bitter…
He redeems.
He brings peace.
Just this baby born on the floor of a barn
Placed in a dirty manger
by a teenage mother
to make a life in my darkness.
He says “Peace”.
Its quickly fading from my arm.
Don’t forget.
Lord, may my life this year and forever be a life of peace. Of gentleness. Show me the way to be guided by the Holy Spirit and the gift of peace that Jesus left for me. Blind me to my self, and open my eyes and heart to you. Make me an instrument of your peace this year.
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