Friday, July 08, 2005

July 8, 2005

Okay. So I have my test tomorrow. It's hopeless. I've tried to study. But I hate studying for things when the only real thing they tell you is to study all the material from everything you ever had. It's just a little overwhelming. I just hope I pass.

But I've decided that I can't be everything for everybody, and I have my priorities. Family is still top priority, and Elijah is a full time job. Why haven't I studied much for this test?? Because I'm busy with what's most important to me. And if that's a problem, oh well. Yes I do want to be a teacher someday and I don't want to waste a degree. But Elijah is still my responsibility and I have to do what I have to do. So I'm saying ahead of time, if I fail this test, please don't give me a hard time. (I'm saying this to myself as well as to anyone else who might consider giving me trouble about it.) I just pray I pass so I don't have to take any more English classes.

And I'm home right now. If only for a day. My bed is the most comfortable thing in the world. My chair is next in line. I love being at home. I've been really homesick. I yearn to hear songs about home lately and I'm having to remind myself that nowhere here is really home.

So anyway, I guess I'm a little depressed.

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